Isolated thoughts

Month: January, 2014

Thought less and less of you

I’ve spend half of today on a post-workout endorphin high and on sugar so someone save me I’m going to crash so badly once I’m back on earth. Its a great 5 days of holiday. Let’s hope that I get some serious $ which I desperately need.

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The holes of my sweater

I’m too obsessed with the song I can’t. Sweater weather is awesome. I just wish that my computer would let me get songs (I can’t connect my new phone to it) which is so annoying I just lost 500 songs. ­čśŽ

Today was pretty horrid. I was being all frustrated and mean and petty because I was tired and so so lost in classes. I hate not understanding. Maybe I’m just dumb but that can’t be the only case. I feel so bad for being a notch though. It’s no excuse to be mean.

I had literally all my classes and subjects today. And the GP test confused and muddled me gosh am I doomed to fail in life, really? I’m tired and there are hardly any lessons tomorrow hurrah the festive mood has arrived.

Little steps and living free

Today has been a rather good day. I’ve just watched a couple of videos (wong fu productions, anyone?) and its just making me so happy. I think it’s because I’ve been reflecting these past few days and reevaluating myself. I’m trying to enjoy life and the people around me more.

School was alright as usual, had a really slack day to be honest. Had fun working on a surprise later after it ended and impromptuly decided to go thrifting with some friends at the Salvation Army near my house even though I had tuition work to do. They were having a Monday special where all the clothes in the basement were $2 only (I think they’re the clothes that haven’t been sorted out yet/are so old that they’re just trying to clear it). But lets get this clear, it was a frickin’ treasure trove.

I liked so many things and there were so many awesome finds I just can’t. My brain cannot comprehend how fortunate I was and how people even donate such awesome clothes. I ended up with loads of bottoms – which I really need and I’m so happy because of that.

I rushed home with five pieces and it’s so amazing. I only spend $10 can you believe that. And there were so many branded items it’s insane! I found a Cheap Monday denim jacket which looks really authentic and a pair of shorts from Topshop like wtf. Not to mention a couple of high waisted jeans that I’m going to convert into shorts. It was like hitting the jackpot.

And I rushed home to rush off to tuition and managed to finally get ionic equilibria so its just topping off my day and a make up lesson was cancelled which means that I’m back early so I can do my work. I’m evidently not doing it now but I think that I deserve a break after my awesome day. I found out that a Watson’s gift card that I’ve received for Christmas also contains a value of $50 is today my day or what. But I honestly have no idea what to spend it on (lol).

On the down side, the dog isn’t feeling well and I’m really afraid for it because it just got sterilized today. Hope that it heals well. Till tomorrow, if I survive the onslaught of lessons and GP test.

My loots: which I am extremely proud of! ­čÖé

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Drowning and suffocating

I feel like I’m dying honestly. Not in the literal, physical sense but my pride is taking a huge hit now. I feel more spiritual these days just because I’m looking for something to fall back upon. And I’m just so frustrated with myself and the coincidences that surround and plague my life that I feel like I’m going to explode.

I managed to fall off whilst riding today. Yeah, life sucks. I think that my riding has deteriorated or I’m just unlucky with the horse. It just kept spooking and shying about, running as a result and I was so tired of it. It was like the third time when it did it and it was circling nicely before it suddenly went berzerk thus catching me unbalanced and halfway off. I was considering jumping off but I knew that I would land badly. But I did anyway and I landed on my back and it was excruciating to say the least. Worst fall ever. Just because I landed wrongly. I made a strangled crying sound after landing – I couldn’t help myself I was that frustrated and in pain.

I got back on and it all went to hell the bloody thing wouldn’t calm down. It was kinda taunting me because it was fine and seemed fine when standing still but once I got it moving it just went all frisky spooky and shit.

So to sum up my day, I have to be one of the unluckiest and most pathetic people on earth. Someone please save me. I feel so angsty and upset that I feel like I might explode. But I can’t because I don’t like feeling that way. It is all that encompasses me – weak.

A teaspoon of happiness

Today was a good day. Because it’s a Saturday. But that’s not all I suppose. My first conscious thought occurred when I was in the midst of a dream. It must’ve been a really vivid dream because I managed to remember most of it. And I was pleased as I managed to sleep it through till the end.

It was a rather wonderful dream. I was in an adventure, escaping. I’ve written it down. I’m thinking of making a few sketches of certain scenes too.

Saturdays are amazing because I get to have some quality time reading the papers. Then I managed to twinkle some ivories before exploring spotify and chilling to some tubes before my lesson. I had a good lesson and I guess I realize that I can do anything as long as I set my mind to it.

I headed out after to meet some friends in town. Shopping is really rather therapeutic usually but after being in China and Thailand and knowing the actual affordability of the goods I felt too ripped off to really enjoy myself. Money sucks. I’m thinking of clearing out half of my wardrobe.

Had a wonderful buffet dinner with the A div. Hadn’t laughed so much for so long. And we had udders after that. We tried some alcoholic sundae thing and I literally died I hated the taste of it, felt like gagging at every single scoop and really, it was just too strong. I think I’ll just stick to my cocktails, margaritas and wine thank you. Or just not try something with such high alcoholic content ever again.

I made it home alive and later than expected again. Hooray.

300 Days

Hello, I’m trying to blog again because I just have so many pent up frustrations and I really need somewhere to release all these feelings without going through the awkwardness and general douchiness of forcing it upon someone else. Considering how on-off my previous attempts have been I’m going to make it a point to type a post a day (I solemnly swear that I will try). I suppose that this’ll be a great record of my journey to them all-important A-levels that I’ll be taking and finishing in about 300 days from now. To think about it I only have 270+ days to study, which is scaring the beejeezus out of me. I’m hoping to look back on my journey to it. Let’s hope that it’ll be a good one.

I think I should start this blog off with a few goals I want to achieve this year:

1. I want to do well in the A Levels.

Its literally the most important step in my life now. I can’t mess this up. I’ll feel so bad, not for myself, for disappointing everyone. Plus I kinda want to do well so that I get some bragging rights because I’m an arrogant little bitch like that. Sue me. I know that academics do not equate to anything in life but I just want my 6 years in a shit school to pay off, you know? And so that I can get into┬áthe university that I want. So I think that I’ll be aiming for a ABB/A at the very least. They aren’t all that easy.

2. I want to do more for others.

I want to┬ávolunteer more. I want to┬áserve the community and give┬ásomething to those who aren’t as fortunate. I just want to stop being so selfish and become more selfless and actually┬ádo something in life other than for myself. I really want to take a trip overseas for a month or so too, just to travel the world, learn more about myself and also to give back. I sound like such a pompous bitch but yes.

I guess that’s all I want to do this year. I also want other stuff like general health and happiness and all that snazz but I’ve never been the most fortunate person at all so my journey may not be that enjoyable. But whatever, hate me world. I dare you to break me. What worse can be done? Other than being a generally unlucky jinx that is.

I’m excited, going to go out shopping and going to be eating a buffet. Life’s good. At least for those few hours. Till next time.