Oh just shoot me

by Jolyn Low

I’m such a brat (lol) which is really really true I have such a flawed personality and all. Its kinda time for a change but I honestly don’t owe anyone anything. I’m going to try though, to be a better person in general. Cheeeeeeesy and cliche and all that jazz but yes. Self improvement is my way out of this.

“Nothing tastes as good as skinny” or something like that. It’s frightening but that’s kind of what I like. Personally I love the feeling of feeling so exhausted, your body broken and tired and the ache tearing you apart. But you feel amazing, fit, healthy and that toned feeling you get in your body makes everything worth it. I want that. But I’m also afraid of falling off the cliff again.

Screw whoever makes you feel bad. No one should be able to put you down or control your life. I suck but you aren’t going to affect me anymore. I’ve made it through haven’t I. Bad experiences only make me stronger, and guess what, this doesn’t matter in the end.

I went for my first consultation today and I’m pretty happy with how it went! I know I understand the concepts now, and it feels good. Really need to plan my time well now though, life’s a struggle to stay afloat. I’m glad that at the very least, someone believes that I have the potential to do something. Even when I’m dying and drowning and failing in everything in life. One of the worst years so far, in all aspects. I hope I feel satisfied when this ends.

C’mon Jo you can do this! One topic at a time, one subject at a time, one week at a time. I’m in too deep, I’ve come this far, there’s no other way than to ace this shit.