So….yours truly turned 18 yesterday. Damn strange, I know or maybe it’s about time I’m starting to feel and look old (oh golly). Never actually thought that I’d reach this age and what a scary thing it is to constantly be one day older which in the big picture leads you to being one year older after 365 times of that. Life isn’t a cycle. It’s a non-stop race till the unknown end. Makes you want to make use of your time more wisely, huh, due to this time sensitivity. This wasn’t how I pictured turning 18 would be and age doesn’t really bother me anymore. Suppose I just wish that I’ve accomplished more in my youth but guess what, I still am so let’s make use of this time more wisely.
The funny thing is that despite what I’ve said about turning 18 I still haven’t had a drop of alcohol so far. I want to try trolling someone when I buy alcohol one day too.
Surprisingly managed to convince my momma to get me a MacBook after a’s though and dad seems keen to pay for my driving lessons soz…hehe. I mean I don’t mind forking out for them but if he’s willing I’m all for it though I feel bad because I want to be financially independent. Such things would easily deplete any meagre income next time though also considering how I want to travel and shop. Especially a MacBook. Shall be the last thing I’d ever ask of my parents! Not that I ask for much actually. I think I’ve been the most thrifty kid of all (really) other than some other inevitable expenses. If you think about it, just raising a kid in Singapore is a million dollar thing. Try calculating all your overseas trips, tuition fees and living expenses. Yes, feel damn guilty about the entire thing. Was that money put to good use? I honestly don’t know.
I feel so indepted. And this honestly drives me on at the moment because just a scholarship, even if it’s not something that I absolutely want, is better than making them fork out thousands for an overpriced education. But the question is: can I make it? If I don’t obtain the grades I can just forget about it. I have nothing else that would make me a worthy candidate for one anyway. Never done anything and never worthy of anything that would give an edge.
On the other hand, its father’s day today! Whoop whoop. I don’t celebrate because I have the utmost conviction that my birth is the best father’s day present so just being around on my birthday would bring joy because the following day would be the actual day! Chose the best time to arrive didn’t I yes I’m the best father’s day gift from heaven. /all hail me/ no I’m kidding I suck I don’t celebrate at all :’-( I’m a bad kid lol. But I just never had such a habit since young. Plus I appreciate my dad all day err day especially for pushing me to pursue my passions like horse riding and not allowing me to quit that one time I fell off a Shetland pony at 11 and wanted to.
Okay enough of the mush distance and feigned indifference is my forte/the comfort zone. Blame it on the upbringing or just my innate character, really but I’m extremely sensitive so I put a lot of effort into capping my emotions and trying not to lose it sometimes especially when I’m upset.
Being happy because I had some retail therapy today though I only got 2 pieces I’m really satisfied with it plus it was on sale. Need to shop more ugh but it’s best when done after a long draught.