Bruised and mad

by Jolyn Low

Oh my goodness I probably had the best start of the june hols weekend ever watching b.a.p and seeing them up close. It’s such a dream, they’re so amazing and I can’t believe that it finally happened – that I saw them live after so long! They’re everything that I’ve seen on screen in real life, except about a thousand times more perfect and tall. Like super tall. Maybe I’m just that short. Aw man.

On the dull side I’m getting quite stressed out with moving and all! There’s a tonne of stuff to shift when I move – not just daily necessities but all sorts of books and crap that I need. And my first day is going to be so messed up already thanks teachers for setting all your damn extra lessons on Monday. Everything should be fine from then on though (I sincerely hope).

My grades have improved so yay me. Not even sure how the heck that happened but yeah. Yay me? And a big thanks to all my group mates who helped pull up my math marks and to the teachers for being kind/helping me.

I’m so afraid. Recently, the topic of death has come up. It changes everything and everyone. Everyone’s selfish desires to come out tops or to get the most in their life is coming out. Is it ethical? Is how society functions really ethical? There’s always the ugly side to everything. Its just that I’ve never quite seen it in such high definition up till now. The human condition is so inescapeable. But then there come the moments that make me hope for better things, especially when it comes to me. I hope that I never get caught up in such folly and selfishness. It’s ugly, despicable, and utterly disappointing. Or am I just being hypocritical and idealistic, because it sure is going to be hard to be something the world doesn’t shape you to be.

We all need a little compassion and understanding in this world. But instead I’m still spending my money and time eating and on flamboyant things when others can’t even. Fabulous person, aren’t I?