Stumbled through a hallway

by Jolyn Low

There’s a looming dateline to meet. To be able to complete all the revision and I know everything like the back of my hand. I’m a far cry away from being at that stage. In fact, I might never reach that stage considering how many topics there are to figure out and how little time there is to do so. It seems like I might be camping at the library for hours now onwards. I need to catch up.
Honestly over the past week I’ve been getting into a new routine of studying in the study room and it’s been really conducive. It’s quiet and the fact that you’re surrounded by others in a rather small area makes you keep doing work because of peer pressure/you don’t get that feeling of wanting to slack off. I could sit there for hours just doing work unless I get stuck. Been avoiding the library with all my might because I find it too crowded and open to be conducive. But seems like I’ll be stuck there for now. I think I’ll try it for a week or two and if it works out that’s fine if not, it’s back to the study room for me!

I’m desperately trying to complete my bio learning outcomes book and I feel my passion in bio reignitijg because of it. I don’t find it that dreadful yet because it feels amazing whenever you make a breakthrough in understanding because the syllabus is just so broad that for some topics, you can’t truly understand it unless you can consolidate everything. Genetics of variation and evolution will kill me though. It’s so abstract T______T

I love horse riding I cannot it’s so therapeautic. Riding then washing the horses and learning about their quirks and all makes me happy especially when i get the horses that I like. *_* I was born in the wrong country ugh it’s so expensive to own a horse/it’s totally not practical to do so unlike in other countries. I even saw a really handsome pony at a remote village in Cambodia. So jealous. Really. It’s been a childhood dream of mine to own a pony. Makes me think of leasing a horse that I really like in the future if I could but I’ll probably still be riding for leisure then. I really envy those kids who have such great access to riding though. Though I am really fortunate already.

This reminds me – I need to work more on my back, shoulders and core muscles. And to lose some muscle mass on my legs if that’s possible because I just abhor them. The gym/running sessions it is! I seriously need to have a good workout routine because I’m so unfit and my diet is really bad. How else am I going to stay healthy until A’s at the rate that I’m going?

This week is going to be filled with hard work I solemnly swear. Feels good to have bypassed the 50/100 mark for biology learning outcomes. And somehow I ran out of pen ink (freshly changed) in less than a week like wtf. I still am terribly unprepared though.

Had black ball and roti mama today hehe I am such a glutton 😥 had super good zhi char kinda food for lunch after church too I loved it all especially because it was piping hot and freshly cooked. Nothing beats that. Been realising what a fortunate child I am. I’m probably too pampered – living a pretty damn luxurious life ever since young. I would like to get out of this spoilt brat phase though. I don’t think that I’m spoilt per say – it’s just how I was brought up with my parents more than happy to provide anything. Partially because they know that I won’t unnecessarily waste and when I really want something it’s pretty rare because I’ve been quite self sufficient especially after last year’s little work stint and actually buy quite a fair bit of things by myself! I do get an allowance for now but I definitely won’t after school ends.

On the flipside we might make a little escapede to the neighbour over the long weekend woohoo I’m quite excited. Friday till Monday is going to be a blast. Shopping……massages, the pool, good food. Ah, the life! That’s if it works out.

I remember my p6 teacher say “it’s attitude; not altitude” and “do your best, and God will do the rest”. Am I too late?

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