I always wondered how I’d feel when the A levels finally arrive.
Well, geez. I didn’t feel like this exam determines my future at all. Instead, I was wondering what a waste it was to study something for 6 whole years (12 if you count the primary education received that built the foundation for this) that is over in a 3 hour examination. It felt so useless and meaningless – like all my effort was for naught. I learnt everything but only 20% to 50% of what I knew was probably applied in the test itself.
Now that the papers are over for my H1 subjects at the very least: I had the (un)fortunate circumstance of having my papers spaced over 3.5 weeks, I’m panicking over the H2s and realising how important they are. In the past week, I got GP, math and a biology paper done. Well, I’m confident of doing well for math at the very least – so that’s 10 rps. But I have a feeling that I’ve mucked up big time for GP which sucks really badly. Not to mention that I totally have no confidence in biology.
Its funny. We won’t fail but if we don’t perform well enough we won’t even have the opportunity to enter the course that we desire. There’s literature and biology this week that pretty much seals my fate for two out of three of my H2s. Chemistry is next week. Its not in my favour by what the heck, I’ll give this the best shot that I have.
Screw expectations. This is reality.