Choked up

by Jolyn Low

The irony of it all is that whilst I am a horribly introverted person, I’m taking a course that requires presentations and social interaction. I was supposed to attend this tea session thingum this afternoon, but am balking at the prospect of going. This is getting messy I’m allowing my social anxiety to get in the way of everything again. There’s this on-off switch in my head. When I have to (eg. Whilst working/when going for group interviews especially) I’ve been alright and sucked it up. But when it comes to such events I’m just so lost and afraid.

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When you get stuck at immigrations.

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And guess who’s going to Vietnam? Got some cash changed and can’t wait to visit Ha Long Bay. I can’t wait for June.

I’m trying to decide which university I should go to. I need financial stability and would like to experience hall life. But academic reputation and the different course attracts me as well. So many pros and cons for both. I just hope that I end up making the right decision in the end. And that things get better.

I’ve been holding back a lot. I’m not blind to all that happens around me. Is it normal to have so many burdens regarding the future? And is it possible for me to survive in this crazy world?

I have to make my decision by the end of next week. I can only hope that its the right choice for me.

The burden of being able to go anywhere: when you fail and fail yet again when you think you’re impervious and will be okay.

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