Isolated thoughts

Month: September, 2015

Headspace

Head over heels for a new band and literally spent my entire day enveloped by their sound. I’ve to work tomorrow so I better get to sleep soon but being slightly drugged up on beer I’m in my sleepy yet reflective mood.

I’ve been thinking about what I’m going to do next year. Plans…not set in stone at this point in time but they are solid goals that I can work towards. Now, all I need is some more cash and a whole bunch of good fortune especially in the case of some things in life. I hate this sense of loss and wavering. Why now? Why this? But that’s not the be all end all. I suppose when something hits rock bottom there’s only one way up, and that’s to the top.

Recess week flew by so quickly I can’t believe that I’ll be back in school the day after tomorrow. Next week is going to be pretty bad considering the mid-terms coming up. One subject being one that I frankly don’t give a shit about and the other being one that has an insane bell curve and that confuses me so much. Suppose if I crash and burn it’s all my fault. Too many commitments, too little time and effort spent on my (supposed main) focus.

It’s time to call it a day.

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Suave

It’s one of those nights. When I’ve too much withheld inside and I need an outlet for this outpouring of thoughts and emotions. So much has been going on. 6 weeks of school done, with only a week till midterms. Messed up thoughts about what I want to do academics-wise and in the future. Not to mention countless projects weighing me down and fucking me up at night. Working makes things so easy, although it’s not making me rich anytime soon, it’s a cathartic release and a driving force. A reminder of how my next 4 years are going to be like, giving me reason to push on and keeping me going for more.

On the bright side, I’m finally done with driving! After 25 lessons, 2 consecutive days of revisions and a stressful night, I’m done. Boy, do I feel proud of myself for getting my license and footing a good half of it myself. Drove on the roads with my dad’s car for the first time today and I still feel so insanely inept and inexperienced (which I am). Thankfully, I’ve two really experienced drivers and two very different vehicles at my disposal.

I’m always thinking: what am I doing wrong? What can I do to make things better? Thoughts of ineptitude keep flirting in my mind.

I need an escape.