by Jolyn Low

It’s one of those nights. When I’ve too much withheld inside and I need an outlet for this outpouring of thoughts and emotions. So much has been going on. 6 weeks of school done, with only a week till midterms. Messed up thoughts about what I want to do academics-wise and in the future. Not to mention countless projects weighing me down and fucking me up at night. Working makes things so easy, although it’s not making me rich anytime soon, it’s a cathartic release and a driving force. A reminder of how my next 4 years are going to be like, giving me reason to push on and keeping me going for more.

On the bright side, I’m finally done with driving! After 25 lessons, 2 consecutive days of revisions and a stressful night, I’m done. Boy, do I feel proud of myself for getting my license and footing a good half of it myself. Drove on the roads with my dad’s car for the first time today and I still feel so insanely inept and inexperienced (which I am). Thankfully, I’ve two really experienced drivers and two very different vehicles at my disposal.

I’m always thinking: what am I doing wrong? What can I do to make things better? Thoughts of ineptitude keep flirting in my mind.

I need an escape.