Headspace

by Jolyn Low

I’m going to make this work.

Finals are in a couple days and I’m honestly so fucked over. Just “got” cash flows for accounting today (damn my anti-conformist soul) and its so painful reading the damn book. Fun fact of the week: Dad was trained in  accounting so yes, free tuition. I jest – I’ll only seek help when I really can’t do it. Given that I’ve been working the past two weeks and have skipped more lectures than I would like to admit, even flying off to Bangkok for a moment of fun, I’m pretty lost. Even now I’m not on the ball and catching up at the rate I should…am I doomed? Have I bitten off more than I could chew with the extra workload? I sincerely hope not.

I could give myself endless excuses for why I haven’t been trying my best but the honest answer is that I felt like I had nothing worth living for anymore. What’s the point of studying subjects that one doesn’t like/what is the point of doing a degree if you hate and dread going to school every single day/what can you do when nothing goes right? Yes, it was a mild depressive episode but things are okay now. I am so loved and blessed; I should be more thankful for all that I have – I see that now.

But, you bounce back and show them that they can’t fucking get to you. Let downs only let you rise higher. Time to do some shit and get what I want.

I can’t wait for finals to end I’m so looking forward to next Friday 11am – literature module paper would be done (hurrah!) and I can enjoy life reading my campbell biology book and making a really big decision. And spend more time with Honey, with friends, making money, and playing softball. And getting the fuck out of school.

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