I am amazingly unfit

by Jolyn Low

I made a really stupid mistake today.

Usually, I try my best to plan my trips on public transport using an app beforehand. That was exactly what I did today for my journey to the airport as I am flying home. Being a real nutcase I purposely chose not to hop onto a waiting bus that would bring me to the train station for my train. Instead, I chose to wait for the bus that was stated in the app. Little did I know, that asshole didn’t turn up. Hence, I started panicking and immediately took the next bus which was a little later. I kept checking my phone for the time, hoping that I would be able to catch the train at 3.32pm.

I reached the station at 3.30pm and ran with my heavy backpack down towards the train. I saw the doors shut close whilst I was on the last flight of stairs and thought “I am so screwed.” To piss myself off even further, the train left at 3.31pm, a minute earlier than scheduled. I threw down my backpack and waited for 5 minutes for the next train, berating myself for my idiocy whilst pondering the possibility of catching the 3.55pm bus to the airport from Elizabeth Quay.

If I had caught the train I was supposed to, I would’ve reached at 3.45pm and had 10 minutes to stroll to the bus port and to the bus. Instead, I now had 5 minutes to do so, which was a tight squeeze because Perth has pretty unpredictable public transport and I was so so so burdened by my backpack. To make things more complicated, I desperately had to pee (damn the weather and that lovely green tea).

I ran for my life out of the train station and reached the bus port at 3.51pm. I took the chance and peed (without washing my hands) and sprinted down to the awaiting bus at 3.53pm. I made it. But it’s still a harrowing experience. I would supposedly reach the airport at 4.42pm, which gives me about 1.5 hours before my 6.35pm flight. Even so, I really hope that I have time to scoff down a cheap hungry jack’s meal before the flight because I would only reach Singapore at 11.45pm and I hope my to die starving on the cold plane. I didn’t even choose my seat because that would cost me $6 more. If I had missed this bus, the next would have been at 4.25pm, which means that I would arrive at 5.12pm which gives me barely any time at all and cuts it way too close. Thank goodness for frequent train times and my legs. Thank you legs for carrying me to the bus port in time for the bus.

My calves are cramping and my soles are so cold. My neck is damn strained as well. Damn you public transport. But hey, what a way to start the trip back home.

Being completely off the grid and unable to even make an emergency phone call made the entire trip more fun.

I have quite a few Disney movies on my laptop. Looks like that’s what the flight back would consist of. I cannot wait to be cuddling Hun bun in the comfort of my home. I wonder if she still remembers me. I really hope that she does.

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