Isolated thoughts

Month: July, 2016

Distress

I am a wreck. I can’t sleep, can’t bring myself to eat, and I feel like death. I hate putting up a strong front when all I really want to do is cry my fucking heart out.

Lessons from purgatory

I am at this time and place in life where everything is unravelling. Sometimes I feel like a stranger in my very own mind, the most sacred place where I could normally find solace and reason. It is failing me. I feel like I’ve lost a very large piece of myself in the past 2 weeks coming back – I abhor the idea of being clingy or insecure but truth is, I might possibly come across as such.

I keep battling with myself internally whether I should just face the music and be prepared to let go. The thing is, the ball isn’t in my court anymore and I feel helpless because of the loss of control. My gut tells me that this is over. And in that case I would want to get it over and done with so as to recover before I begin the next semester. I need to keep myself busy but I know that I’ll never be able to give myself the luxury of such a long break anymore so I’m trying to enjoy this time alone.

I should just shut up and get my tinder profile ready fuck this shit.

1 down, 11 to go

Screen Shot 2016-07-08 at 6.48.07 pm

I came home to messages from my friends relaying that results have been released and I am extremely satisfied with myself. I knew that I could have done it but really having done it is the best feeling ever. I know that it’s not very sustainable in the later years – I’d probably be struggling to pass but for now, let me bask in the awesomeness of having a 4.0 GPA (first time ever; thank you markers for being kind).

Here’s to giving 100% for the next half of the year and fulfilling those goals. I can really do this!