Lessons from purgatory

by Jolyn Low

I am at this time and place in life where everything is unravelling. Sometimes I feel like a stranger in my very own mind, the most sacred place where I could normally find solace and reason. It is failing me. I feel like I’ve lost a very large piece of myself in the past 2 weeks coming back – I abhor the idea of being clingy or insecure but truth is, I might possibly come across as such.

I keep battling with myself internally whether I should just face the music and be prepared to let go. The thing is, the ball isn’t in my court anymore and I feel helpless because of the loss of control. My gut tells me that this is over. And in that case I would want to get it over and done with so as to recover before I begin the next semester. I need to keep myself busy but I know that I’ll never be able to give myself the luxury of such a long break anymore so I’m trying to enjoy this time alone.

I should just shut up and get my tinder profile ready fuck this shit.