Fresh Start

by Jolyn Low

As with all new beginnings, I’d like to think that the first night is the toughest. I was sleeping on this foldout on the ground of the room, with all my belongings scattered around me. There wasn’t a mattress on the bed frame, which left me in complete shock for I thought that I’d purchased a bed, not just a frame, but it is well and settled now.

I was about to cry and was wishing for my mom or dad or just someone familiar to be with me, helping me to settle in – for the last time I did my mom was there to help me, and I did not arrive to an empty room. I felt desperate, alone and incredibly overwhelmed with the amount of things I would have to get and to do to make my room a liveable place. I still have everything scattered on the floor, messy as heck but I need a wardrobe to really be able to get my clothes and other knick knacks put away.

Again, I am very blessed with good friends who would help me, even though we are not living together or even that close to each other anymore. I am no social butterfly, but a handful of those who would be there for me in my times of turmoil and trouble would be good enough. Even those back in Singapore who would check in, I am grateful.

Tomorrow I will get my wardrobe and desk chair, which is wonderful for I would be able to finally put most of my things away. And today I witnessed a surgery here which is interesting as always, and did little things here and there. Got the chance to administer a subcutaneous injection as well, so yay!

I wish that I were stronger and more resilient perhaps, able to process and take on the things that are thrown at me more calmly. 2016 is drawing to a close soon, and I wonder if I am still the same old me.