20.

by Jolyn Low

I’d always been a very quiet child. I found my joy in stories and tales of the unknown and brave, and dreamnt of an idyllic existence somewhere far away. As I’ve gotten older I learnt to keep quiet more because I disliked small talk and realised that words could be very combative and hurtful. Silence, for me, is contentment and alone time has become the ultimate prize. Sometimes I wonder if I’m just anti social and boring (highly likely) and I doubt my ability to relate to others (which isn’t that true at all).

I find that I can completely empathise with my friends when we talk about our struggles and disappointments in life. Neither is it difficult to feel what they probably feel and try to comfort them. I feel like I can feel exactly what my friends feel whenever they talk about their life stresses, boy trouble and the like. It’s not difficult to step into their shoes after experiencing similar instances at all. I reckon that I’ve just gotten very weary of trying to build lasting relationships with new people – it’s not an easy thing to do at all. Some days I think that that’s my downfall and the bane of my existence. I haven’t found enough of my kind of people in the world, and the few that I have I cherish very dearly but I would like to find more.

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