by Jolyn Low

I wanted to stop and listen to a song whilst walking out of the mall because I liked it. I also wanted to stay in my car to listen to it on the radio because it came on just as I was pulling up at home. I was hungry at 10pm so I ate prata. I decided that I shall leave my live-in position come end 2019 and the end of 4th year because I want and deserve a break. I think that I have sacrificed and tried hard enough. I called the farmer and it was a jilted and uncoordinated conversation on how to get there. I have to drive 208km north to see 8,000 sheep, 4 beef cattle and 2 pigs. He told me that I could come on Sunday if I wanted to spend Saturday night with my boyfriend, and I laughed. I probably should have taken up his offer even though it would be a lie. I still don’t know how to get there but I don’t mind.

On my run I was almost bitten by a dog. It made me wonder who would be at fault since I was running on the sidewalk past the house which I rationalised to be public property. The gate was not locked but I was merely passing by. I figured that if it did bite me I would sue them for having such a vicious little shit.

My family is coming in less than a week. I’m not sure what’s in store but I have 70% and 55% riding on my multiple examinations on Tuesday and Thursday. I can’t quite fathom how I’d gotten this far, really. I still remember sitting on the pavement and frantically trying to memorise bony prominences and muscles. They make a lot more sense now. I’d just lost the motivation to push myself to the fullest because less than 100% seems to be enough for now.

So much for being the best that I can be.