15.

I’ve been having the worst week. There was an exam in which I had to score 90% to pass on Monday. (Which I just found that I did phew) I’m still suffering from random phases of abdominal pain. And I’m sleep deprived and falling behind on my work with no possible resolution in sight.

Tomorrow – today actually, I have a 20 percent essay due which is not up to my standards but I cannot do more with my drained mind, a graded class participation tutorial, and 3 hours of learning how to do a clinical exam on cows. The thought of it makes me want to die because I am afraid and weak.

My work is cut out for me – there is another mid-semester next week, and I have about a million and one emails going on in 4 different accounts that I have to juggle for both uni, club stuff and work places. I’m not done with the quizzes due next week either. And I’m falling hopelessly behind and into my little pit of despair because I am working on Saturday and have no break. I am never ever ‘on top of’ my work because I am only ever scraping through and gaming the system in hopes of HDs. Which has worked, but how long, really, can I keep this up?

They say that your 20s are made for rash decisions and going all out in work or play because you’re still young and you have the energy to do so. I kinda just want to fast-forward to the part where I magically graduate and become a good vet that people appreciate. And then to the part where I say that I have lived on my terms and that I tried my best. And that would have to be enough because that’s really all I think we humans can ever do.

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