8. Wear & tear

I find myself feeling quite weary these few days. I am very tired, even though school hasn’t begun and I still have one last week of pracs to go through before I am done with my 3 weeks.

Rushing back from the farm last Friday was quite the feat, for it was a long drive in inclement weather. It didn’t help that I had to rock up for another prac the next morning. In the midst of these pracs and being on shift the entire week, I still had stupid things to settle and do.

It has been a year since I have first arrived in Perth, and I feel very wistful and rather nostalgic. I still remember the adrenaline rush and the sunset when I first landed as my mom and I made the drive to a friend’s house. First visiting Freo and Murdoch, and feeling terribly lost, quite unimpressed but sucking it up because it was all very exciting and new. Mom and I went to King’s Park, and had fish and chips but it was so windy and cold that we finished it quickly and went on a drive around different parks that overlooked the swan river.

I still have 4 more years in this city and I am not sure if I will stay, move to another or go home but I am quite happy, I think. I know where to go to get what I want and need. I have a very nice place to live in and have been learning so much every single day. I feel like my perspective about many things and many of my habits have changed, which is not unexpected, but one really can’t project and anticipate the future when they are faced with uncertainty.

Good things:

  • Spudshed trips where I got a lot of food for cheap, and managed to snag a whole carton of Yeo’s (!!) soy bean milk for $11
  • Got snake skins from the centre
  • Flowers that now make the table very homey
  • Cut Thumper’s nails. He has learnt how to hop onto my bed and now spends his afternoons lazing on the edge of my room’s large window. He does binkys on my bed and hops from window edge to bed to table, luggage and shelf.
  • Reading All Creatures Great and Small
  • Alone time at home. I don’t have to tiptoe my way about someone else’s home anymore.
  • Figured my printer out so it can finally print pages double sided, so no more mistakes with printing!
  • Submitted report for last week’s prac

The not so good:

  • I skipped a day of prac because I just couldn’t bring myself to drive 20 minutes in peak hour traffic to do thankless, laborious work after another draining night. Prac is leaving at 8am, coming back at 430pm and cleaning up after (very dirty) animals that I do not particularly like when I am there. I come back and have patients to care for from 7pm to 7am the next day. And I just haven’t had a break from changing IV bags at 3am, having occlusions occur throughout the night and dealing with the constant barking and howling of the understandably distressed dogs. It feels like a nightmare for literally every single patient I have had stay in since Saturday has been an entire Rottweiler that is in quite a bad state. I simply cannot trust them as they weigh more than I do, and their jaws look like they can snap my arm.
  • I have also broken my laptop. Genius move, Jolyn.

On my self-declared day off I have spent some time lazing and scrolling social media. Everyone seems to be progressing, growing more beautiful and refined by the day and I’m still little old me with the awkward hair and plain, if tom boyish dressing. I feel very unfeminine and ugly duckling-esque in a world where beauty is pretty clothes, nice hair and makeup. I guess I just wished that I fit into society’s mould of what is desirable more often than not.